Authenticity is important to me. One of the best books I have ever read on
authenticity comes from an ex-tutor of mine, Professor Stephen Joseph, and the
book is called ‘Authentic: how and why it matters’ published in 2016 by Piatkus.

I have always had that voice in my head telling me I could be happier, I could achieve more, I could be fulfilled in different ways, that something is missing. In this book, I have found many of the answers I needed to help to quieten this voice. It has been curiously revolutionary to me to change my mindset from always imagining what I will be tomorrow, what long-term goals I want or need to achieve, to thinking primarily about what I’m doing, thinking and feeling right now, in the moment!  It hasn’t been easy to change this way of thinking, and I’m constantly finding myself back with these long-term goals, but amazingly when I can be in the present moment how much simpler and more enjoyable my life is. It’s not just about being in the present moment either, as Stephen Joseph says, it’s about being true to yourself in each of these moments.  So, what gets in the way? 

For me, it often boils down to not wanting to share my true feelings, worried as I am that these may not be acceptable to others. I don’t want to appear weak, vulnerable, incompetent, rude, or stupid. In my culture, often wearing a mask is seen as the right thing to do. 

Living inauthentically doesn’t come without costs though, it’s not the easy option. This is a cause of psychological distress – unhappiness, anxiety, feeling dissatisfied. It feels safer and less disrupting to drift along as we are, not taking risks, not rocking the boat, not revealing or finding out who we really are, but we don’t escape the damage it causes. This may be damage that we are unaware of. There’s a sort of amnesia or numbness to inauthenticity. But somewhere something’s not happy. It might be that pain in your neck, that aching shoulder, the recurrent headache, the low immune system which means we are always catching colds. Being authentic also means listening to our body, being embodied. This means, listening to the whole of ourselves, thoughts, feelings, and body sensation. What is that gut feeling telling us? What does that slightly odd sensation mean?

Steve Jobs (1955 – 2011), famous for co-founding Apple Inc. had this to say to university students at Stanford University in the U.S.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And, most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary”. 

I’m going to say more about the inner voice that Jobs refers to in future blog posts, but rest assured he’s not talking about our inner critic who telIs us that we’re rubbish, we’ve done it wrong, nobody cares. The inner voice that Jobs is referring to is the voice of inner wisdom. It might take some practice to learn to hear this voice, it may have been trampled almost to the point of annihilation by our lived experiences, but believe me, it’s still there, and it can be revived!!  I’m going to finish now with the words of another inspiring person who has really helped me think more clearly about the importance of authenticity, Brène Brown. If you don’t know this woman, look her up. She is a renowned researcher, author, and speaker from the U.S., and she is best known for her work on vulnerability, courage, empathy, and shame. Her TED talk ‘The Power of Vulnerability’ is one of the most viewed TED talks of all time. 

“I think we should be born with a warning label similar to the ones that come on cigarette packages; Caution: if you trade in your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief’. 

This quote comes from her 2022 book ‘The Gifts of imperfection’. Hard words, serious stuff.  I plan to keep sharing my thoughts about authenticity in future blog posts.